dear faithful readers,

i'm trying to think of everything that's happened in the 2.5 years since i last gave you a li'l piece of my mind, and the answer is not very much at all.

here's a really quick rundown:

- ate too much candy corn and candy corn flavored like caramel (MISTAKE)

- signed up for facebook

- still just can't get a taste for broccoli rabe

- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZFKxPyUxH8

- two olympics!!! oh my god, what did you do without me liveblogging them? i have a lot of regret about this.

employment

i swear to you that this is not one of those moments at the thrift store when i hold up a size XXXXXL sweatshirt with a picture of a turtle wearing a baby bonnet that reads "today is bonkerzzzz!" in peeling puffy paint and squeal "i'm totally gonna make you buy this!" and you get irritated and go start seeing if any of the typewriters work in the junk section.

i seriously, honestly, clicked on a link to this website after seeing a job listing that they are hiring a library assistant.
but i realized it's just an internship, so i'm going to have to think about how badly i want to be employed by ...

pizza and circumstance

just wanted to let everyone know that if you were planning on going to my commencement ceremony where i will be rewarded a PHD for my years upon years of rigorous pudu observation and fieldwork at the queens zoo - OOPS!

PSYCH! i won't be there. BECAUSE I'M PLANNING A PIZZA PARTY AT WORK THAT DAY FOR MY SECRETARY JOB! at the party i'll drop the bomb that i'm going to take everyone's advice and really work my way up the secretarial ladder from administrative assistant to executive assistant. maybe everyone will be so excited and happy for me that they'll buy me hummels! customized hummels that are taking dictation and planning pizza parties for 200 people!

sunset rubby

last night someone gave my girlfriend, camilla, some flowers, and she said, "that's the dumbest thing i've ever heard of." she's so mean and deadpan! i like her so much!

i wish i was less mean and deadpan, and maybe i am (for example, i regret that time i was very cold to a guy with a fake british accent who tried to compliment me), but i still admire her and i do still hope i look really bored sometimes when i'm on stage*.

i wish sommer and joe really had told her she looked like frankenstein that one time.

* to cover up for how nervous i really am.

pudu pudu

we realized how it should have happened

michel gondry should have directed inland empire and david lynch should have directed be kind rewind. only if he would keep that orange cat in, though.

after we found this out, we walked home from the bus stop and jacob told me about how the man who developed (founded? discovered?) transcendental meditation died. then we had to step over this man's stream of pee, and i think he MAY have turned around and incoherently screamed that he was sorry.